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Mobile Deluxe Banter: When Nerds Collide

This is an example of the important matters that are discussed daily at Mobile Deluxe. This email started out as an invitation to a basketball game, went through some variations and ended in an all-out nerd war. I love my job!

From: Edmond
Sent: Wednesday, May 25, 2011 6:11 PM
Subject: Basketball after work next Tuesday

Hey Guys,
Some of the guys in QA are planning on playing basketball after work next Tuesday. We’ll be playing at the park on the corner of 6th and Wilshire. Everyone’s welcome to join us. Don’t be scared to come play, we’re not that good and all of us are out of shape so the playing field is pretty even. Hope to see you there.

On May 28, 2011, at 8:36 PM, “Alfred” wrote:

Won’t be able to make it on Tuesday y’all. I was really looking forward to seeing Audrey posterize QA too. Oh well.
Alfred

From: Reuben

Sent: Saturday, May 28, 2011 5:55 PM
Subject: Re: Basketball after work next Tuesday

Ahhh.. I’ll be there Thursday – can you all play then, too???
Reuben

On Jun 1, 2011, at 10:58 AM, “Audrey” wrote:

You know dear co-workers, just because I am a giant doesn’t mean I can play basketball. I can barely walk in a straight line let alone be coordinated enough to shoot a basket. I’m a delicate flower.

From: Kellie
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 12:04 PM
Subject: Re: Basketball after work next Tuesday
Correction: A delicate but deadly technoflower-bot.

From: Audrey
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 3:06 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
With laser-hands

From: Reuben
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 12:21 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
This is starting to sound like Audrey is slowly being assimilated via email. What would Audrey’s Borg name be, anyway? Audrikus?
Reuben

From: Audrey
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 12:24 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
My step daughter only calls me by “Audroid”

From: Laine
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 12:26 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
Hhm.. Marketing is 5 people? Audrey can be Three of Five.

From: Audrey
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 3:25 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
Silly Reuben, Borgs don’t have names, they have number designations.
#startrekisbetterthanstarwars

From: Reuben
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 12:43 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
I will not be duped into a Wars/Trek debate. I’m bigger than that. And I wouldn’t, under any circumstance, highlight the area below and change the text color to black……. it’s just white space…

—— Start Below here——-
You know, that’s crap. I think Picard had a name, didn’t he? I quote: Locutus. ‘I am Locutus of Borg.’ And Star Wars must be a Borg, because it’s number designation is 1, as in ‘First’ or ‘better than’. I will use this passive aggressive nerd typing campaign to vent my frustration, but also to prove that star wars is better, not that I’m right – both statements of which are true…….
——end above here———

From: Paul
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 12:59 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
Reuben: Settle down, you know Audrey didn’t really mean that. Take a deep breath, maybe plan your next trip to Tashi’s station… do you want to get the red power converters or the blue ones?

Audrey: Ixnay ona ethay arstay ecktray isa etterbay anthay arstay arsway. Reuben is a star wars fan with a black belt. That makes him one of a kind in the universe and possibly very dangerous. Nobody really knows. You best back way off.
Paul

From: Audrey
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 1:02 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
Paul = Peacemaker

From: Eric
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 1:04 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
Star Wars sucks, Star Trek sucks. Go Frodo.

From: Audrey
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 4:05 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
Seriously, we have to bring in Middle Earth to this debate. Sheesh!

From: Reuben
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 1:08 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
Audrey and I both wield the power of awesome. With it, comes great responsibility. It’s an innate power – not fabricated like Batman.
Lord of the Rings doesn’t count. All the power is tied into a frickin’ ring. Generation after generation of oppression because of a piece of jewelry.
Fail.
Reuben

From: Audrey
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 1:11 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
Reuben – FTW!!!!!

From: Eric
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 1:38 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
It’s not just jewelry, it’s made of gold. Everyone knows gold always goes up in value, we are all slaves to it. Besides I can’t see the force or Vulcan mind melds or whatever. It could be like god or santa clause or gravity. The “power” is all in your mind. For all you know it’s explosive gas caused by eating a lot of beans.

P.S. – Batman isn’t fabricated, he’s just a really rich guy who likes to wear a belt with toys and a point elf/Vulcan hat.

From: SexyJosh
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 1:43 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
U guyz know where I can get a good deal on Pocket Protectors?

From: Audrey
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 1:44 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
No, I don’t. But I can let you borrow one of my inhalers.

From: Mo
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 1:44 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
Why did you all have to bring batman into this…….. He is a human who fights superhumans. Unlike others like jedi’s or that guy from star trek who get beat up physically he gets beat and he is constantly put on hallucinogenic drugs and mind destroyed everytime he fights.
Keep batman out of it.

From: Edmond
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 1:51 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday
Batman’s also the only superhero that can dance. Batman Rules!!

From: Scott
Sent: Wednesday, June 01, 2011 1:52 PM
Subject: RE: Basketball after work next Tuesday